Be yourself, be happy

Insecurity is created whenever the focus in on how one looks, rather than who they are.

YOU have curly hair, but you want it straight; you spend hundreds at the salon to get that look. You are curvy, but you want to be stick thin; you spend thousands to achieve and maintain the look you want.

You have brown eyes, but you want blue; you spend money for coloured contacts to achieve that look. You are getting older, and you want to be young; thousands are spent to achieve the look you are going for.

Yet, at the end of the day, you are “you” and you cannot change that. We all want to be something we are not, and this feeling that we are less because we aren’t what we picture is making us depressed, anxious, moody, and insecure.

Men struggle with this thinking, but not nearly as much as women. Women are trapped by it. We can become obsessed with it. Not only are grown women trapped by it, but six-year-old girls are reporting that they want to be thinner, have different eye colour, different skin colour or prettier overall.

When you ask someone what they notice about another person, most of the time you will hear things such as their energy, their interests, or their unique quirks or personality. Rarely will it be about how someone looks.

When looks do come up, they are usually in the context of extremes. When you get close to someone, how they look becomes less and less important.

This feeling of knowing someone well and no longer caring how they look does not generalise to ourselves. In fact, the longer women are in their bodies, the more critical they become.

by Mary-Jo Rapini.

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